SENSITIVITY???

I have a problem with people saying the words "YOUR TOO SENSITIVE,I WAS ONLY JOKING" after they have told you exactly how they feel about the situation your in or how they feel about you. I'd rather have it you tell me the truth instead of lying and making me think I'm seeing things that aren't there. I guess I could say I am a very sensitive person(depends on how you rate being sensitive) and I analyse what you say to me and why you'd say it, this week a friend told me that I was incapable(putting it mildly) and when I reacted showing her that I was hurt and could not believe that she of all people would say this about me,only because I could not finish 1 task out 5 that I had to do, she told me that I was being sensitive, she did not mean it in that "way",she was only joking and that I of all people should know never to take her seriously!!! But at the end of the day I got the message of what she thought of me at that time,what frustrated me the most was not the saying I'm incapable part, but the part where she said I'm being sensitive and that she did not mean it that way,what other way can saying you incapable be explained??? I am a person who is always open minded about constructive critism, and accept being corrected, but I don't like people who say something then back down and say Hayi!!! I was only joking.